HALLOWEENTOWN — Following a brief pumpkin carving session, the country’s liars held an emergency press conference where they introduced a resolution to gather the removed seeds, separate them from the gross, slimy pumpkin guts, and roast them in the oven to enjoy as a delicious, healthy snack.

“This is the type of people we hope to be,” said liar spokesperson Gary Nelson, holding a dirty steak knife and metal spoon. “We roast our own pumpkin seeds. We go for early morning runs. We drink green tea and shit.”

A dirty mixing bowl containing pumpkin seeds mixed in with pumpkin guts sat on the podium as evidence of the group’s resolve. 

The unexpected announcement came as a shock to those close to the liars and seems to contradict previous statements and actions.

Critics point out that just last night Nelson got black-out drunk and only purchased a pumpkin as an attempt to connect with his children when they visited the previous weekend — his one weekend of the month.

“I mean, yeah, it makes sense to roast the seeds if you’re really on the ball about it,” said Jill Stein, a former friend of a liar. “But let’s face it. They’re just not that guy.”

At the time of publication, the dirty mixing bowl remained on the podium.