UNITED STATES — After President Donald Trump’s 10% tax on imports took effect, the economic response was swift and severe. Financial markets suffered their worst week since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, with the Dow Jones dropping 3,800 points over two days. 

While many Americans suffer from the economic impacts, some industries have benefitted. Sales of old wooden barrels worn with suspenders have risen by more than 500% — the largest increase since the Great Depression.

“Why, this is greatest thing since Silent Cal took office,” said Chester P. Humbuckle, CEO of Cooper & Co., a barrel manufacturing company. “We’ve been trying to break into the fashion industry since my great-great-great grandfather started this company and it’s finally happened, I tell you.”

Humbuckle said barrels make great outfits. They come in one-size-fits all, are gender-neutral, and affordable. 

“They’re also eco-friendly,” he added with a wink and tip of his derby hat, noting the wooden materials used in their construction are sustainably harvested. 

Taking note of the increase in sales, other companies are looking to cash in on the boon. Alcohol manufacturers are said to be reselling their empty and unused barrels used for aging liquors like whisky and home goods retailer Crate & Barrel is reportedly considering rebranding simply as, “Barrel.”