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New Orleans Hospitals Overwhelmed by Surge in Injured Saints Players

NEW ORLEANS — With more than 20 players potentially sidelined due to injuries, COVID-19 concerns, and DUIs, the New Orleans Saints have one of the most depleted rosters in the NFL, and local hospitals are struggling to cope with the latest spike.  Nearly every hospital bed in the city was occupied by injured players, with […]

Stressed Out Rand Paul Forgets to Shave ‘Waluigi’ Mustache

WASHINGTON — Kentucky Senator Rand Paul entered the Senate floor this week looking noticeably distraught, appearing to be neglecting his usual grooming habits. The Republican senator was seen sporting a thin mustache with jagged, upward angles reminiscent of the facial hair of Waluigi, Luigi’s arch-rival from the Mario franchise. Paul is currently embroiled in multiple […]

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