Sen. Ted Cruz Chugs Frozen Margarita to Better Understand Constituents

CANCUN, MEXICO — After facing bipartisan backlash for his decision to fly his family to Mexico during a pandemic and while millions of Texans are without power or water as the state deals with a devastating winter storm, Senator Ted Cruz issued a statement clarifying that his travels were only an attempt to understand his constituents.

“Like many of you, I too know what it is like to be cold,” Senator Cruz said in his statement. “Just moments ago, I was forced to finish my frozen mango marg in order to board my return flight, and I experienced one of worst documented cases of brain freeze known to man.”

Photos of the senator and his family traveling in airports circulated widely on social media, leading to widespread criticism and calls for his resignation. At least 36 deaths have been attributed to the freezing conditions. 

Critics have called the senator’s actions “tone-deaf,” “irresponsible,” and “definitely something he would do.” 

Cruz did book a return flight this morning to return back to Texas and face the impossible task of doing his job. However, passengers aboard his return flight overhead his complaint that the airline didn’t have his favorite brand of pretzels.

“Ugh,” the senator groaned. “This is the worst vacation ever.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s