So you’ve made the wise decision to invest in gasoline, a.k.a. liquid gold. While the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission urged you to please for the love of God only use “containers approved for fuel,” you were either out of steel drums or you’re simply too cool to listen to those nerds. Good for you!
But with all of those plastic bags of gas lying around, you might be asking yourself what else you can do with them besides power your vehicles, lawn mowers, and generators when the apocalypse arrives. After all, you can only store them in the trunk of your Nissan Elantra for so long. Fortunately for you, a very smart person, there are plenty of ways you can repurpose them!
Turn them into stylish accessories
With the price of gasoline continuing to rise, those bags you’re sitting on may be worth more than diamond jewelry. So why not wear them like jewelry? You’ll have one of the hottest fashion accessories out there right now.
Tie some twine around a bag and wear it as a necklace like you’re a rapper and it’s a gold chain. Transfer some of your gasoline into smaller sandwich bags, slide a hook through them, and wear them as elegant earrings. Stuff your bags into a tube sock and wrap it around your waist for a belt that will put Gucci to shame. Don’t be afraid to flaunt your wealth!
Upcycle them into comfortable beanbag chairs
Remember, you’re rich! And you weren’t about to be one of those losers stuck without gasoline, regardless of whether or not the Colonial Pipeline actually affected your area. It’s time to let people know it.
Why not simply enjoy your wealth? Take those plastic bags and pile them up in your living room or basement. You could also stuff them into a sac or sleeping bag. Relax on them like they’re liquid beanbags and you’re Smaug, the hero of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Take it a step further and light up an illegal menthol cigarette or grape-flavored cigar and bask in the success of your gasoline and dogecoin investments.
Throw a fun gender reveal party
Are you expecting or know someone who is and wants to make a big splash with their gender reveal? Sure, you’re wealthy and intelligent enough to invest in bags of gas, but you’re not made of money! Save yourself some extra cash and hold off on renting a cannon or picking up some blue or pink fireworks.
Simply add some blue or pink food coloring to your gasoline and you’re all set! When you’re ready for the big reveal, toss a match onto that bad boy and let everyone in the entire state know whether the child will be born with a penis or a vagina. And don’t let anyone tell you it’s “over the top,” “terrifying,” or “unsafe.” Remember, there was a family in Louisiana that used an alligator as part of their reveal, which is just plain dangerous. If anything, you’re being responsible.
Donate them to a corporation in need
The pandemic has been tough on everyone, especially the nation’s largest corporations. You may have noticed signs in store windows bemoaning their inability to find employees because “nobody wants to work anymore.” If you’ve got extra bags of gas you can spare, you can do your part and give back.
Leave them in the donation collection box located near the store’s front windows. If you have any glass bottles you need recycled, why not kill two birds with one stone and fill them with some of the gasoline you’ve stockpiled. Many stores accept after-hour donations by allowing you to throw the bottle through the front window. Every little bit counts, and it’s up to all of us to work together to get through this.