Sen. Ted Cruz Chugs Frozen Margarita to Better Understand Constituents
CMT Asks Morgan Wallen to Not Be So Obvious Next Time
Mom Really Glossing Over Details of Fight With Dad
Biden’s ‘1986 Commission’ Celebrates Nation’s Golden Age of Cinema, Bodacious Babes, and Ice Cold Brewskies
Man Afraid of Immigrants Tells You to Stop Living in Fear
Trump Reportedly Asked Turkeys to Pardon Him in Exchange
New Orleans Saints Announce Name Change, Move to Baton Rouge
Nation’s Pole Watchers Seek New Hobbies
Study: Majority of Trump Supporters Suffer from Irony Deficiency
Local Trump Supporter Calls for Unity between Republicans and Lying, Cheating Democrats
Mitch McConnell Announces Retirement, Plans to Find Remaining Horcruxes
Giuliani Copied File Labeled “Definitely Not Porn” from Hunter Biden Laptop to Personal Server
UFC Fighter Jorge Masvidal Starts New Position as President Trump’s Driver, Errand Boy
Nation’s Scene Kids Mistake ACB Confirmation Hearings for “As Cities Burn” Reunion
